The One Thing You Need to Do to Enjoy Your Life More – Now!
Updated: Feb 21, 2019
One of the biggest causes of pain and stress that we experience is our refusal to accept the experience (the thoughts and feelings) we are having in any given moment.
It’s understandable, when we feel upset, stressed or overwhelmed that we’d like to feel differently. It’s natural to want feelings of annoyance or irritation to move on, and quickly.
And so, a small internal struggle begins – between the experience you are actually having on one side, and your demands that it be different on the other side.
And this struggle, far from forcing the experience you don’t like (the feelings of upset or of stress etc) to move on, simply amplifies it and keeps it hanging around! Because this is where you are focusing your attention!
And now into the mix come questions – ‘Why do I still feel like this? When will this pass? How much longer?'
And a sprinkling of judgement – ‘There must be something wrong with me. I'm sure no one else feels like this. Perhaps I’m not coping...'
In our innocence, we don’t realise that the act of resisting - of willing our experience to be different, of demanding it change - does two things that ensure we won’t get the result we want:
1. It adds another layer of stressful or painful thinking to the experience we are already having, because now, as well as feeling sad / angry / disheartened, we have lots of thoughts that are judging this and trying to change it.
2. We have focused our energies and attention on the very thing we want less of - thereby engaging with it and keeping it hanging around for longer!
Accepting how you feel and what you are experiencing in any moment is the fastest way (and the only sure way!) to enable the thoughts and feelings to move on and for you to have a fresh, new experience.
For me, accepting my experience as it is feels like falling softly down into a big, fat armchair, after ages spent jumping angrily up and down! It’s a relief. It’s calmer. It’s quieter. I am still.
When we accept the experience we are having we:
Stop the noise in our heads that is wishing the experience was something else.
Are fully present in whatever is going on and for whomever we are with.
Stop judging what we think and feel about what is happening - and just feel it.
No longer wish time away trying to get beyond this experience to the next one.
Can appreciate the fact that this experience is part of the incredible unrolling of life.
The struggle is gone.
The resistance is gone.
The noise in our heads is quieter....
I see more and more that it is not our experiences that cause us the most anxiety and unhappiness - but our fighting them.
We are wearied by our own loud internal demands that the experiences be different. That we be somewhere else, feeling something else.
And this internal fight so often carries on long after the experience we resisted is over. We are annoyed by what happened, or worried about how we felt, so we can't stop thinking about it and we continually question why it is this way or that way.
> And so, we rob ourselves of peace and of another moment, another hour.
> We are distracted, unproductive, exhausted by our own internal battle.
> Worn out by a fight we never needed to have.
When we accept our experience, it naturally moves on faster.
> We spend much less time focused on what we don't want - and thus we make more room for the experiences we do want!
> We are no longer worn out by our internal battles and we have more energy.
> The inevitable outcome of this? More happiness, more fun, more productivity!
> A life in which you find more enjoyment!
Wherever you are, whatever you feel, whatever your experience in this moment ..... accept it as what is happening for you right now.
Nothing will help it to pass more quickly....
Do you want to find out how to ditch the stress and overwhelm and experience a life of calm, joy and ease? Ummm, yes! Book your Free Consultation Call now to find out just how amazing your life can be: https://calendly.com/abiggerconversation/60